-[Lost]- Detached.

I'm feeling so lost, so detached from MY world.

A lot of things that were dear to me are leaving me now.... My Japanese course has ended, and I decided to take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JPLT) level 4 instead of continuing the current course to Intermediate-III, so I'll be losing the whole bunch of my friends who I've become really close to. I will definitely miss having them in my Japanese class. We've all been together since my first Japanese class in ICLS, and it's really saddening for me to 'abandon' all of them. Literally. But it is a decision that I HAVE to make, if I wish to obtain any official and regconised certification for all my hard-work sacrificed in learning up Japanese....

I was also really torn when I decided to quit learning drums. It's not that I lost interest in it, but I simply do not have sufficient time to continue pursuing another certification for my drums course after obtaining an Honours (distinction) for my Grade 8 London College of Music (LCM) drums exam. I can't possibly have the time to try taking the diploma course which consists not only the performance of several pieces, but also some paper work which I will have to settle within 2 years after passing the performance part. The other alternative is to go for Grade 8 ABRSM for Percussion, but that would include the use of Marimba and Timpani, which means I will have to attempt to obtain permission from institutions like UPM and Istana Budaya to allow me to make use of these instruments in their possesion. Complicated, huh? Like, how am I supposed to juggle with my studies and running around all over the place at least once a week for my percussion classes? Well, I can also opt to just continue going for classes blindly EVEN THOUGH I've already obtained my Honours in Grade 8, which is kind of pointless. I'M NOT RICH, GODDAMMIT. My fees cost about RM200 a month, and my family is already facing some financial problems while trying to put me through my medical studies in cut-throat IMU.

Haih. I feel so detached, lost. Like a yatch with a broken sail heading directionlessly into the raging sea.

It doesn't help that I've got LOADS of studies that I've been lagging behind since WEEKS ago.

....DAMN! Summative 1 is only 23 days away. I'm so gonna die, period.

PS: Daniel won!! Woohoo!!! I can't believe even MY DAD votes for Daniel. LOL. So he was one of the '1.2 million 13-year-old girls' who voted for him eh? ;P

Actually I think Nita should've won although I simply LOVE Daniel....he's so cute!!! XD Blek. Kawaii-ness rulezzz~!!!!